You might be a redneck if....

A man in Kentucky (of course, it was Kentucky) was arrested after the Jessamine County Fair demolition derby event and charged with drunken driving. Filed under D for “Duh!,” it seems that David L. Warner Jr. consumed a few Bud Lights before hopping in his clunker and ramming into the other competitors. I mean, he could have hurt somebody!

Police received numerous complaints, so they came down to the fairgrounds and became suspicious when they noticed him swerving. No truth to the rumor that they also cited him for not using his turn signals and for having a broken taillight.

After Warner won, police observed him staggering and having trouble standing. Surely it had nothing to do with a bunch of cars running into each other.

Afterward, Jessamine County’s finest plodded over to the bumper cars, where they proceeded to ticket kids for reckless driving.